Ego vs tiredness

The other day a friend told me that he meet an artist he liked  in a con in san diego, and he said to me that he was a real douchebag. I replied to him, does he was all day signing to a lot of people at the both?, did he had pain in his back?, do you catch him running like crazy to the bathroom and you wanted to tell him the story of your life? Did you interrupt him talking  to a friend he havent seen in 8 years? When you were talking to him the line was big so he interrupt you to give minutes to the person you didnt see at your back? Did he was sick and taking pills at the booth? Did he receive a call that he wont get paid and got mad? Did a close family member died recently and he just wants to be alone and shows no interest in your talking about Dragon Ball?



Those are the questions people never make, they just say i talked to him, didnt got  the reaction i was expecting, soooooo,  he must be a douche.



Strange because i used to think the same when i was a kid of 22. But those are the questions you never make when you get a bad reaction.



It happens to me in a con once, ive always draw sketches for free, never charge, been sitting on a con all day, you literally spend all day, in a bad position your back its killing you, you dont talk to people in a con, you literally scream, second day you dont have voice to talk so here comes this guy ask me a free sketch and i draw it to him, he leaves happy days go on and on, i started to get the flu, my feet are killing me im doing a seminar so people learn to in draw corel painter, then the guy returns wanting another free sketch but a better one. So i get mad, told him why he didnt liked the older one? Thats the first time ive ever refused to do another sketch i got really mad, probably he had said what a jerk, but he doesnt see all the background that made me say no in that moment, i mean i got other sketches to be made for other guys. Sometimes you cant see the whole picture.


The more you become old, the more your eyes will literally kill you when you DRAW, the back its going to hurt, you will need coffee and vitamins just to keep the pace you had when you were young, and the gap gets larger and larger each year. So it becomes less and less easier to be patient.


Whats the solution? Well many artists opted to do less feedback to fans on deviant art its healthier, you will see they replies on rarely occasions. I try to reply the most i can, i do live streams to show people how can easily you can do this, and not livestreams of just one hour, but really long live streams, that literally are killing my eyes and back without taking a break time between each hour.


When you are young, at school there are just a few people  that only says negative stuff about your work, lets say if you are lucky just 3 persons, but what will happen on internet when you become more popular , that number just rises, you receive tons and tons of these comments everyday, and i mean EVERYDAY.

You become the punching Bag  of many people, and sooner or later that punching bag its going to explode and harm the last guy that punched him before he puts a fresh new one.  Just watch out to not mix tiredness with ego thats different, mistaken so easily.



And ego guy, its someone that likes to humiliate other people, someone that always sees you below his shoulder not because he is tall, a guy that use bad words to people that dont like his stuff and specially the guy that likes to talk how bad other art is.

But we all have one day like that, after all we are humans, but ego its the guy that never leaves that phase.


And ego guy will say his art its perfect, a tired guy like me will say that his stuff isnt perfect and just to tired to even argue about it.


Sometimes people just want to be heard and not preached, its like when you are talking to your parents of a problem you have, you just want to tell them the bad day you had, and they start telling you the mistakes over and over, you know what you did wrong,  you already know. You know they love you, but somehow it pisses you off ?



There was a problem on a past upload i made, some people starting attacking me out of blue. This are the guys that hate other artists, they want to force their point of view to another artists, ive already knew that the pose was drawn WRONG i wasnt justifying the pose as a well drawn pose because i knew it was drawn wrong but still like it, but they couldnt accept i did it on purpose because i liked the composition, they couldnt understood why i like it, but they say that i insult them. I INSULT them for drawing a pose i liked, character wasnt humilliating female gender.




Its the first time in my life that someone says to me that drawing something i like, insulted them, you wont imagine the mix of feelings i had at that moment sadness and anger, especially when this person was the type of person that copy and paste everything i said with "" like been sarcastic, she told me to shut up in my own gallery,  ive snapped when this person mocked my nieces. No body does a copy and paste o my nieces and place them with "".


So i said to that person have a nice day and block it. Also ERASED the upload, to save this person a lot of trouble with fans that go to her account to bash her, i  erase it to protect this person. You cant imagine how hard its to be kind, but i tried my best.


Will that action made me an ego artist probably, but the real reason its that i DONT DRAW for people like that and never will.




So once in a while let me be a bit selfish, let me post pictures i like with comments disabled, we all sometimes need to be heard and not preached.



Ive already know that i never drawn a perfect drawing, and probably will never will.



Just wanted to explain the reason why it happen, so you dont have to blame yourself. And be more patient with artist over their 30s, try to think on the other side, sometimes its not ego, its just Tiredness.